New 4th of July Weekend Experience

 This 4th of July I spent in morning at the ward breakfast.  Because Abdu is Muslim and does not eat pork I decided that the respectful thing would be not to feed his daughter pork either.  That makes our house a pork-free territory. I have a feeling that it is going to be a little hard.  I love some good sausage and bacon, and especially pepperoni.  Love me some pepperoni pizza.  I am going to have to survive off the turkey substitutions, but they are not the same.  Luckily, I have not run into pork products too often eating meals at home.  It was so difficult looking at the sausage being cooked up by the ward.  I made it through without falling victim, but man I wanted some.  Attending all church functions is so awkward.  Not just because I am a single mother with an infant, but I have always felt this way.  Often I have thought it is the mingling factors because I remember feeling this way at the Single's Ward and in many of the other wards I have been in.  Perhaps it is the fact that I do better when I have one close friend, but typically I am alone.  I attempt to make conversation, but it typically fails.  I am feeling ready to give up on the attempts.

What is even more weird is that the rest of the day and part of the next day with Abdu's family.  I am not sure if it was his mother or father's family.  I just know it was family.  There were family members that came to Minnesota from Denver and Chicago.  They had the initial gathering at someone's apartment and the next day at a Park in St. Paul.  When we showed up I really wasn't sure exactly what was happening, Abdu told me it was a family meeting (whatever that was supposed to mean).  All I can say is that I never knew that so many people could fit into a small two bedroom apartment, but it is possible.  There was a couch that covered two of the walls.  The women all sat on one side of the room and then men on the other.  As soon as I walked in the room all of the women were motioning for me to come over and sit by them.  Abdu took care of Violet on the other side of the room.  Many of the older family members only spoke Amharic and Oromo, so the there was very little English spoken.  The oldest male family member is the most important and welcomes the family.  In fact, the oldest male from each city stood up and talked for a little while.  I got the general idea, but eventually someone explained the general idea about what was talked about.  It was kind of strange because I was the only Caucasian, English speaking, and non-Muslim women who was there and I felt more comfortable with them than I did at the church breakfast.

I had met or seen a few of the people in his family at a couple of weddings.  Also, one family member came to see me in the hospital when Violet was born.  The problem was that I was not able to figure out how everyone was related to each other.  I was able to determine who was married to whom, and who the younger children belonged to, but not their relations to each other.

The next day at the park there were carpets on the grass.  Most of the women sat on the carpet on the ground.  I sat with the four older women and a couple of different mothers.  I am not used to sitting on the ground.  My legs kept falling asleep.  Perhaps if I had daily sat on the ground I would be used to it, but it was rough.  A couple of the women had tattoos on their face that I was told was considered beautiful when they were younger, but it not done anymore.  Up close it looked like little cuts at were dyed.  What I loved was that none of the women could speak English, but they would take Violet and wanted to hold her.   It was interpreted to me that they wanted to keep her.  One of them said that they wanted to take her because I could have another one.  They wanted to raise her in Ethiopia.  When I dressed for the event I made sure to wear a Maxi skirt to the picnic because I knew women wear long skirts.  One of the older women told Abdu that she was thankful that I dressed respectfully.  She just wanted me to cover my hair, but she smiled at me and said thank you in English.

Older Women #1

I think that these are Abdu's cousins, but I am not sure.  Dad is feeling Violet as usual.

A larger group of some of the men.

There is something that is fascinating and interesting to me about the native attire of other cultures.

I have seen multiple men with this type of hat and shawl at different functions I have been to.  They are typically older men.

The view of the water was beautiful

Older Woman #4.  She showed up late to the party.

This girl wanted to take Violet with her to Chicago.

There were many beautiful women.

Just one of the little girls, although the only one without her hair covered.  I suppose that to be respectful of their culture Violet should to cover her hair at family functions even though she and I are technically are not of the Islamic faith.

Just another beautiful women...with older woman #2 (who wanted to keep Violet and thanked me bending over)

Some of the kids went swimming in the water.  All of the kids all swam in their clothing.  Abdu says that they don't swim in Ethiopia.  There isn't any water and what there is has dangerous animals around, so no one would go in it.  Plus, in order to swim as a Muslim you have to be covered.  I can't imagine attempting to swim with all the material surrounding me.  It would be like swimming in seaweed.

I have felt so crazy for three straight months.  I have felt the craziness, but been unable to control it.  I have been exhausted and did not feel like myself.  These two days I finally felt like myself.  I finally liked Abdu again after 3 months of fault finding.  It was so bizarre.  It has lasted through today.  It is nice to be back to my somewhat former self.  I am not sure if it was the couple of days out of the house not worrying about all of the tasks I needed to accomplish or the fact that there were a lot of people who I couldn't really even talk to who seemed to like me.  I keep wishing that was how I felt at church, where I have always been told that they are "family" away from your family.  I have never felt that, but I am not sure what I am hoping for.  It is probably my expectations, but for the first time in a long time it was nice to feel liked.