The past couple of days I have spent pondering my circumstances and how I have lost my motivation. Yesterday I made the decision that I was going to take my physical life back. Going to therapy is slowly bringing my emotional life back into play, but raking through my past has brought up a lot of feelings that I just haven't wanted to deal with, so I was running from them. I did pretty good at running, until there was a big change in my life, a loss, or confronted interpersonal relationships. Dreading through my baggage (as many would say) I have had a hard time dealing. I suppose that I should be happy that I didn't become addicted to drugs or alcohol, but instead my numbing medicine has been food.
As an individual who has spent a lot of my life enjoying the great outdoors and participation in sports this weight gain has been extremely devastating. I love to travel, but every foreign country I have been to has been more than willing to tell me to my face how "fat" I am. I loved the people and know that to them it is like saying the sky is blue. It still hurts though.
Yesterday, I made the decision that I needed to go to Weight Watchers. I had attempted to do it at home for several months and instead of weight loss I have actually gained somewhere inbetween 60-80 lbs. Devastating. So, I am publicly announcing that I am going to take my emotional numbing by the horns and channel it into something more productive. This morning I woke up and went to Weight Watchers scared to death that I might fail, but knowing that I can't live like this anymore. Then I went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes. Followed by a trip to the grocery store to buy more fruits and vegetables.
Now I know that most of you don't really need to know my weight, but I am posting it here so that I can remind myself of my goal and my progress. Plus, sometimes a little humbling is a motivator.
Current Weight: 300.2 lbs.
Goal: 173
;(
As an individual who has spent a lot of my life enjoying the great outdoors and participation in sports this weight gain has been extremely devastating. I love to travel, but every foreign country I have been to has been more than willing to tell me to my face how "fat" I am. I loved the people and know that to them it is like saying the sky is blue. It still hurts though.
Now I know that most of you don't really need to know my weight, but I am posting it here so that I can remind myself of my goal and my progress. Plus, sometimes a little humbling is a motivator.
Current Weight: 300.2 lbs.
Goal: 173
;(
4 comments:
I've been doing weight watchers too! We can share recipes! Will and I have found a number of really yummy recipes that are still low in points. I'm exicted to hear what you discover too!
I love you! You are so strong! Keep it up. How can I support you?
Sweet! I'm excited for you. And remember, vegetables and fruits ARE FREE!!!!
Hi Claire. Carrie told me you joined the club! I joined WW in December and can't believe the success I've had. I know that sounds like a cliche commercial, but it has made 2011 a change I have needed. Good Luck and let me know if you need a buddy!
- Melissa
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